Far From the Home I Love Part 2

One of the things about living in Israel is that you don't need to think about being Jewish. I know that sounds obvious yet I never realized how much I thought about in the states until I came here and didn't need to think about too much.

An example would be Jewish continuity. I remember when I was growing up that there was a statistic that 40% of  American Jews will marry non-Jews. I am told that number is now 58%. ( 72% if the Orthodox are excluded) .

In Israel the number is so low I could not find a statistic.

I am not saying it doesn't happen . I have a cousin here who got engaged to a girl from Germany who came to Israel to study ( he broke it off). There is also the issue of several hundred thousand Jews from Russia that are not halachicly Jewish but that  is a topic I will stay away from today.

When I was living in the states it was important to me that my children get the proper Jewish education so that they would understand the need to follow,and want to marry within, the faith. American Jewish parents make great sacrifices to give their children this type of education, however as the statistics above show, that it is not a guarantee.

Now that I am here I wonder if I would still think that a yeshiva education is necessary. Many of the public schools in Israel teach about Judaism ( to the consternation of the left) and it is very easy to live an observant life.

You will not face antisemitism when you go for a job, walk the street etc.. More than that, there are may laws in place that make sure the sabbath is a special day.

All the Jewish holidays are holidays.

When you go shopping on Friday all the shop keepers wish you a Shabbat Shalom.

It's very cool.

This subject came up in a conversation I had with my daughter yesterday. She mentioned how a new state of the art elementary school just opened in her neighborhood. It is a secular school. She said that one of her friends Rabbi's said it was OK to send their kids there because the education would be so much better.

I instinctively said " no , that doesn't sound right"

I am not sure why I was so quick with that assessment because I do believe that raising kids here does give you some protection from some of the things you worry about when you live in Galut. Yet my instinct told me that I maybe it is not enough.

I have had conversations with friends here about kids our marrying non observant people. I was surprised how this was not an issue for some of the more observant people I know. That is because that there is a feeling that living here is a holy thing in itself and the biggest expression of being Jewish that there is. Your children and grandchildren growing up here have a strong connection to the Jewish people. One that in some ways is much stronger that even the most observant people in Galut.

How many kids in Galut will be asked to risk their life for the Jewsih people? Here they all are.

When my daughter mentioned the new school at first I thought she was talking about her own kids and I said no because that is not what I would want for them ( not that it is my choice).

I mentioned in the last post that I took my mother to see Fiddler on the Roof in Yiddish when I was in New York. I was really excited to see it, mostly because I thought my mother would really enjoy it , which she did.

I had forgotten how much I hate the story.

When I first saw the movie, I was not even ten years old. I remember how much I loved the music and I thought it was great  that there were very Jewish characters in a movie showing a world that I imagine was similer to the one my father grew up in.

Yet even at that young age I knew something was off.

Tevye, the father, is confronted with the changing times and his daughters participation in the new way things are done. He doesn't like it but comes to accept it although his tradition is being forsaken.

This acceptance comes at an end when his middle daughter decides to marry a non Jew. This is too much for him and he considers it as if she had died.

That is until the end of the movie.

That is when all the Jews are expelled from their homes and have to move on. His daughter comes to tell her mother where she is going and Tevye, though not acknowledging her, makes sure she knows where they are going.

That just seemed wrong to me.

Isn't there a line that should not be crossed?

Why did he have to change his mind?

In today's age, observant parents are confronted with many things concerning our children differently than past generations. Things that were considered wrong or forbidden are looked at with more compassion than they were in the past ( though not necessarily accepted)

What would you do if your child was no longer observant?. What if you found out they were gay? I would like to think that in either of those scenarios, although I would not be happy I would still love my child.

I can not say the same with intermarriage.

Growing up I was taught that intermarriage was akin to Jewish people voluntary finishing what Hitler started. I know that sounds severe but I sort of agree with that.

Today on college campuses we see many Jewish students supporting our enemies. I am not talking about opposing settlements, I am talking about questioning Israel's right to exist. This is the new strategy of the Palestinians, to totally delegitimize the Jewish connection to the land and Israel's right to exist.

When I was in school, even the most left wing Jewish student did not believe this. What is different now?

Perhaps it is the fact that over 50% of those Jewish children have one parent who is not Jewish. I am not saying that all intermarried couples raise children that are disconnected to Israel but I do think that many are.

How can someone understand the connection to the land if one of their parents doesn't have that feeling ?

How can someone understand the importance for Jews to have their own country when one of their parents doesn't have that understanding?

Can a parent who has never experienced anti semitism really convey what that is about

That's why Tevye's decision is so depressing. He knows that his daughter marring out ( and converting) means that  she will no longer have a real connection to her religion and traditions. He knows that her children will most likely not learn any of it.

I have said many times that one of the main problems we have today is that parents want to be their children's friends not their parents. Some parents are very indulgent and then can't understand why their children don't share their values or beliefs.

Sometimes I feel like Tevye.

I know that I raised my oldest child differently than my youngest ( going from least to most indulged) but I hope that I was able to instill my love of Judaism and the Jewish people in them. I am not sure if I was successful and I guess time will tell. I do know that in any case I will love them.

I also hope that they understand that I am not Tevye. Love has limits.

If that was too personal sorry it didn't start that way but that is where it ended.

On a lighter note I recently felt truly Israeli for the first time. I went to the supermarket and was looking for grapes. For some reason grapes are very expensive here ( like everything else) and I don't really know how to tell if they are good or not.

So I ate one.

It was completely natural but after I did it I realized that I have now crossed a line that made me a little more Israeli.

I was proud of that.

The feeling ended rather quickly.

I did not like the grape I tasted but felt bad about eating one so I bought them any way.

I still have a long way to go.