My Friend Reuven - Update

Live From the War in Israel Day 150

I know I haven't posted for a while, and I apologize to those who have been asking. I was in the USA for a month at the end of the year, and I don't write when I'm not in Israel. It's not for any philosophical or high-minded reason; it's just that I never have the time.

When I returned, I was out of my groove. It always takes a few weeks to get back into my Israeli headspace.

The country is at war; intuitively, you are aware of this, but it is no longer something you feel every day. For the most part, the rocket fire has stopped. I don't watch the news anymore, so the war is not in my face like it used to be. Israel is in the midst of a very long and painstaking operation whose goal is to ensure that Hamas is no longer ruling Gaza. Since Hamas is embedded in the civilian population, this is a long and arduous task. Despite the numbers, Israel is not TRYING to kill Palestinian civilians. If they were, this would have been over a while ago.

We all know that the media is blaming Israel for everything happening in Gaza. On October 7th, and for a few weeks after, anyone who even hinted that the attack was Israel's fault was shouted down and labeled an anti-Semite. Today, there is almost no mention of October 7th. Hamas has very little, if any responsibility for the war. Just a few days ago, the WSJ reported that the head of Hamas said that the civilian casualties were good for the Palestinian cause. We always knew that was his plan, but now it seems he no longer has an issue verbalizing it.

All the calls for a ceasefire, two-state solution, etc., are only strengthening Hamas. This has been the plan of Hamas from the beginning. They relied on the West and their reaction. These proclamations are the only reason Hamas is still fighting. If they thought that Israel would be allowed by the world to complete their goal, this would have ended already.

Most Israelis are aware of this but frankly do not care. The number one unifying issue today is not Bibi's resignation, the return of the hostages, or even the drafting of the Haredim. The one issue most everyone agrees with is that Hamas must be finished after this. I don't think people care as much if their leaders are killed, but they can no longer be in power.

Some of my old friends came to Israel last week. One asked if I would go see Reuven with him. He had not seen him in a while and I sensed he wanted me there so he would be more comfortable. He also met Reuven at my wedding. My wife decided that we should have everyone over for Shabbat dinner. I did not think Reuven and his wife would accept, but Reuven did, albeit without his wife.

What do you say to someone whose son was snatched from him at the prime of their lives? How are you supposed to act? I had no idea. Do you not discuss his son or family at all, or is that all you talk about? I decided that the best course of action would be to let Reuven decide. I would follow his lead.

Reuven was the first to arrive. The rest showed up soon after. Everyone gave Reuven a big hug with condolences. When we started eating, Reuven wanted to hear about the families of my guests; he then turned the conversation to politics. That led to him showing us a picture of Omri. It showed Omri on a surfboard, ripped, like a bodybuilder, smiling without a care in the world. "Good looking kid," is all I managed to say. He then showed another of Omri and his girlfriend of 5 years and then one with Omri as a teen with his twin brother.

You may ask why a conversation about politics led to him taking out pictures. Reuven has long been associated with politics in Israel and was at one time the mayor of a major city. Originally, he was affiliated with Likud, Bibi Netanyahu's party, but split due to a difference in philosophy. Despite this, Bibi paid a shiva call. They did not discuss politics. Bibi came to tell Reuven that he could not truly relate to what he was going through because it was his brother who was killed in action (at Entebbe 1976) and not his son. Still, he did see what his parents had to go through and so he came to pay his respects.

Whatever your thoughts about Bibi are, and I think I have made mine pretty clear, this visit was not something he had to do; he has not visited the families of all of the soldiers who have been killed. Bibi knows Reuven, and although Reuven has not been a fan for a while and has said so publicly, he still showed up.

Make of it what you want.

As we were finishing the meal and our conversation. One of our other guests asked, what is the goal of this war, Hamas is an idea and you can't kill an idea. I agreed with that last statement but explained my view is that winning means that Hamas no longer has a leadership role in Gaza or anywhere else. If this was not done, no Jew would be able to live in Israel and feel safe again.

Reuven looked at me and said, Menche, we can not stop until we win, nothing else matters. With that he took out his phone and showed us more pictures of Omri.